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What I Want In a Relationship: He Said / She Said
Soul searching thoughts on relationships.


He Said…

I cannot speak to your wants, only mine.

In the past I would always give way to external attractiveness, beauty, lust and romance. These were false gods that always came to naught.

Now I realize there is so much more I would need to know.

I’d want to know who is your Sovereign, what Gods are you accountable to, which Lords of the earthen world whole sway over your life and how deeply are you enslaved?

Are you caught up by things, riches, power and fame?

Are you in love with the idea of love, romance, lust and appearances? Or are you wanting to give, share and love another without expectations, controls or demands?

Do you know your wants and needs, and are you able to fulfill them yourself, or do you expect another to do it for you.

Do you need a rescuer, a savior, a hero or provider?

What does give and take mean to you?

I’d want to know; what are your values and what does integrity means to you. How loyal and committed can you be.

Would you only be there for the glory, the successes and the good times?

Or would you be there when I’m down and out and can’t get up after being defeated by one of life’s cruel blows?

Would you be open to my fierce, dark and bitter moods? What if at times I chase you away when I need to go through these dark valleys of death alone?

Or when I feel you are too close, your presence too restricting, and I feel too compressed, would you be okay with absence for whatever reason?

What space in your life would I occupy, what space would be mine and mine alone, what would I have to share and what would I have to give up?

How would I know you loved me? By what standards, expressions and actions are your ways of expressing love?

How kind are you to another, sister and brother, stranger and foe?

Would you see me as an object needing repair, something to be shaped into an image of your own making? What level of control do you like to exercise?

What do you play at, kick up your heels and enjoy?

How do you handle your emotions and how volatile are they? How fast do you forget? How quick do you return to your lover’s bed after a battle?

These are the things I’d want to know about you and would want you to know about me.

I want to know what you’re made of under your external beauty and appeal.

Tell me what makes you laugh, what makes you cry, crazy, or mad. What are your fears, your insecurities?

I want to know your character, your gifts talents and dreams. Can we travel on the same road? Will our aspirations and interests bring us together or keep us apart?

I want to know everything about your past, present and future that is worth knowing.

You see I want to know the very make up of your soul. Can you really want to know mine?

Here’s What I Need; What Do You Need?
by Dr. PHIL Winkelmans


She Said…
by Linda Coldeway

Who are you?

Do you have holes, like a sieve, that you are looking for me to pour sand
into until my beaches are rocky and barren?

Are you wanting me to be your caretaker, your mother or your punching bag?

When your life doesn’t go the way you planned will you try to take me down
with you?

Will the mere thought of my walking down the path with you, fill you with a
warm glow from somewhere deep within?

Will my smile pierce your heart?
Will you be able stand looking at the light within me without feeling the
need to dimmer it just a bit?

Will you be able to Hear me without putting on some cloak of armor to
protect yourself?

Will you honor my spirit?

Will I be able to dance, sing and be joyful?

Hold me.

If I need you to hold me, will there be 5 minutes in your day that you would
give up just to “BE” with me.

What part of loving unconditionally don’t you understand?
Is your greatest wound, your greatest gift?

Are you weary from fighting life’s battles, or do you celebrate your
victories?

Do you jump out of the bushes at night and scare yourself? Will you scare
me?

Do you shoot daggers at yourself and others?

Do you preach the Power of Now while you wallow in the mud of your past
injustices?

Will you respect me enough to let me feel my own pain? And will you
understand when I don’t reach out my hand to help you deal with yours?

Do you love yourself enough to love me?

Are you still enough, quiet enough to hear your heart speak? Will you be
able to hear mine?

Are you good enough for You?

If not, then why would you be good enough for me?


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Dr. Phil Winkelmans
6234 Waterbury Road, Nanaimo BC V9V 1L5
1 250 390 1066
phil@toolsforthesoul.com
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